Mary did you know

Sung on Sunday, December 26th, 2010. Thanks to Pastor Tom for accompanying me once again.

Yesterday

I absolutely love this song and these women! They're so good and I was fortunate to see them at Women of Faith this year. Enjoy!

Philippians 4:4-9

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable -- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy -- think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me -- put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

I'm learning how to sew!

I made a pillow! This last tuesday, my friend Clare taught me how to sew. It took me 4 hours to make this. From the choosing of the fabric to the last stitch.  It definitely goes with the color of my room and I'm just so proud of myself.  I have never used a sewing machine but I really had fun sewing.  I don't know what to make next but hopefully I could practice some more.

Yellow Bag

I recently got a new yellow purse/bag. It's 100% vinyl, made in China, and I got it on sale at Ross. Haha. Not ideal, but oh well.  When I saw it, I immediately fell in love with it.  For some reason, I feel like this new thing can represent how new I've been feeling in the last couple of days.  A few weeks ago, my parents started a life group.  They are studying the Song of Solomon.  They are using Tommy Nelson's classic Song of Solomon study.  After watching the first session with my parents, my sister, her boyfriend, and myself, I was really intrigued by the study.  It did remind me of another sermon done by Mark Driscoll called The Peasant Princess.  I've never seen that whole sermon, but I remember a woman from my college women's group mentioning it, though, I never really looked into it.

Well, I ended up watching the rest of Tommy Nelson's Song of Solomon study in two sittings and started watching The Peasant Princess.  Song of Solomon really is a great study and has taught me a lot of what kind of woman I want to be for Christ first and then for my husband.  Since I am not dating, God is who I am seeking to pleasure. And when God brings me a husband, we could be bringing pleasure to God within the confines of our marriage.  And believe me, I can't wait, but this is my season of singleness that I could know God better, serve others, and focus on His will for my life right now (which has been awhile).

Too many times, I have caught myself thinking about the future and wanting it so badly when, of course, I have no idea how it's going to turn out. But I know it will not be how I would imagine.  I would like to think that it will, but it won't.  I psych myself up thinking that something might happen soon, but I "do not (want to) be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of (my) mind, that by testing (I) may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect." Romans 12:2. Now, that's the ESV translation.  The NIV also translates it very nicely. "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is --his good, pleasing and perfect will."

I started this entry about a bag and how it could represent new, but it's really about what's in the bag that represents new and/or growth. (I'm just excited about getting a new bag even though I'm not a big purse girl).  For most of my time since I've moved home, I've been carrying around lots of books.  Mainly, the bible, bible study books, books on theology or other Christian matters, and a couple fiction.  Right now, I'm reading a book that I've read with my college women's group called "Practical Theology for Women".  I just started rereading it, but this time, I got the actual book instead of the pdf file (which was free, but sometimes physical books feel better to hold).  It is a good refresher, especially when I've been having interesting conversations at work, mostly with customers, about God and when one particular gentleman flat out told me studying theology was a joke. Hopefully I could see him again.

I am also reading a book that I stumbled upon at the library (even though I work at a bookstore, I still like checking out books for free AND for awhile). It's called "For Women Only".  It is more catered towards married women, but the title intrigued me so much that I just had to read it.  Even though I'm only a third into the book, the statistics found from the author's survey questions, her explanations and the men's stories are very informative.  And while I was watching one of Mark Driscoll's sermons (I can't remember from what series), he actually refers to this book and recommends it.

The last readable thing in my bag is my journal.  I've been carrying this in my bag(s) since I first written in it.  Before writing this very sentence, I opened it and read my first couple of entries.  My third entry I wrote exactly one year ago, October 1st, 2009.  As I was reading my written prayers, there were some that were answered, some I have not prayed for in awhile, and some that I am still praying about today.  It's crazy to see growth through journals, especially when you have faith in the Lord.   For girls and women, most diary or journal entries are a time to vent and complain, which I just read in some of my entries, but I also read about joy and praising God.  You're probably only going to find lots of praise for the Creator in a Christian woman's journal.  Other women might be praising the created like a boyfriend, materialistic things, or their ego as if they're were a god. (I guess I just vented my opinion there).

Well, this entry was intended to be private and to be kept in my other computer journal, but God put it heavy on my heart to post it publicly.  Just as my love for Christ should be public.  I should not be ashamed of God, who he made me to be, and how he is working and teaching me in my life right now, and I can and will boldly say that I am not.

Nicole's solo

my dad recorded the second service performance from Sunday's service. It was fun to do and I'm glad the song went well with the pastor's sermon because I chose this song 2 months in advance. Of course it's all God to tie things together. The lyrics are why I love this song so much. I provided them below. (you can also see most of them on the screen behind me, but I'll just add them below anyway) Enjoy.

The pathway is broken, and the signs are unclear
and I don't know the reason, why you brought me here,
but just because you love me, the way that you do,
I'm gonna walk through the valley, if you want me to

Cause I'm not who I was, when I took my first step,
and I'm clingin' to the promise, you're not through with me yet,
so if all of these trials, brings me closer to you
and I will go through the fire, if you want me to

it may not be the way, I would've chosen
when you lead me through a world that's not my home,
but you never said it would be easy,
you only said I'd never go alone,

so when the whole world turns against me,
and I'm all by myself,
and I can't hear you answer
my cries for help,
I'll remember the suffering, you're love put you through,
and I will go through the valley, if you want me to.

What to sing

I've been asked if I wanted to sing a song during the morning services at my church in September.  The nice thing is that I could choose any song that I want to sing.  That's pretty exciting.  I was told that the pastor will be in Corinthians at about that time but I don't necessarily have to choose a song that's entwined with his sermon; just something that I'm passionate about singing.

Songs that came in mind were by Ginny Owens.  I've always liked her songs, mostly her old ones cause I haven't heard much of her new ones, but her singing range is something I could sing and she kinda has a blues feel in some of her songs so that's what attracted me to her.  I added some Ginny Owens songs in my playlist below if you want to listen.

Another song that came in mind was a spanish song.  I don't know how well that will go down with the music pastor but I'm sure it will be fine.  The spanish spoken is actually very easy to understand cause it's repeated a lot.  And it's not like a simple translation can't be put up on the screen.  It's called "Con Mis Manos".  I fell in love with this song when I first heard it at Urbana 2006.  I've sang it a couple of times in college when I helped sang on the worship team.  It's a very short song but sounds very beautiful.  Whatever song I pick, the worship band may or may not play, but if there was a song the band could play, this one would be great if they did.

I'm sure if I sing this song, some people will come up to me after wards and start speaking spanish.  I really need to get on the ball with that in general cause my spanish is still not good.

If you happen to be reading this and a song pops into your head that would probably be a nice song to sing, please let me know.  I need all the help I could get.  And if not, prayer would be nice too :)

This is why you're home

I don't know why I moved home after college, but apparently most college graduates do.  To be honest, I really didn't want to move back home.  There was a setup where I could have easily lived in a house with a good Christian college friend and it would be cheaper rent than the apartment I was living in and a little more space.  I told her that I would give her an answer accordingly so that if I did say no, she would still find time to find another roommate.  But obviously, I told her no.  When people asked me why I was moving home, I said to save money.  I am saving money (to mostly to pay off some debt) but that was not the full basis of why I moved home.

Moving back to the central valley is nice and calming than the fast lifestyle of Southern California, but of course it can get boring and mundane at times.  Especially, the first couple of months when I was still getting to know people or re-getting to know people.  I was trying to be social but no hard enough. But now that it has been 9 months since moving back in, I can start to see why God placed me back into my hometown.

I have seen a change in myself that I have not seen while growing up.  I have become more close and honest with my parents.  Though sometimes the truth is really hard for them to hear, that is what's necessary to grow in a relationship with the ones you love.  I know that being an adult and more mature doesn't hurt either when I converse with my parents, but of course I will always be their daughter and often get told what to do (even though I hate it, but that's how it is. Well...especially when I'm living with them).

I recently read a book called "The Five Love Languages: Singles Edition" by Dr. Gary Chapman.  It mentions in the book that Dr. Chapman had many singles reading the original five love languages book (which is intended for married couples) that would come up to him asking if he could write one for singles.  The singles edition is not only for dating relationships, but also relationships with family, roommates, classmates, coworkers, and singles with children.  Basically, I take that as everyone else you have a relationship with.

He mentioned that how you want to show love to your future spouse or others you date really depicts how you love your parents or have a relationship with them.  And throughout the book, there are many examples that start with learning a love language with your family first then moving onto others.

Here's a little excerpt from the family chapter:
  "When there is mutual love and honor between parents and adult children, both experience a positive state of emotional health, which in turn positively affects their physical health, which results in longer, more fulfulling life." -Dr. Chapman

I kinda hate quoting so much from this book, so I went to God's Words.
"Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you." Exodus 20:12 ESV

"Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right." Eph 6:1 ESV
and ultimately...

"And he said to him, 'You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.'"  Matthew 22:37-39 ESV

When you think of saying job or work....say opportunity instead

I've worked for Barnes and Noble since October 2009 and picked up a second job with the Census Bureau in April 2010. Having two jobs is very tiring, especially sense I'm working with lots of people (and knocking on their doors...oh my goodness...lots of stories). So being overwhelmed can naturally make me think of dropping a job. So when I say or even think "I don't want to do this work" or "I don't think I want this job anymore", I remember that this 'job' or 'work' is actually an opportunity that was given to me. So when I start saying or thinking those things again, I replace it with "I don't want to do this opportunity" or "I don't think I want this opportunity anymore", it made me realize that I was lucky to even have this opportunity. I've started doing this sometime mid-May and it's really put my mind in perspective and made me thankful for what I was given.

Since having moved home late August 2009, I went from no job to 1 job to 2 jobs to a yet-to-happen interview for a management position (scheduled june 5th) and potentially extending my job (or opportunity) with the Census for another 8 weeks. Thank you God for the opportunities you've given me.

But my opportunities don't just stop there. Even before I got my BN job, I started helping out at the food pantry at my church. That was really the first opportunity I had since moving back home. It's been a blessing to be a part of and the ministry keeps growing and I'm still able to do it even though I have 2 jobs. Technically, I have full availability with BN, but God has kept my Mondays clear of work so I could be at the food pantry. And the Census job is so flexible, I just work whenever I'm done at the food pantry.

So, the only explanation to all of this is because of God and God alone.

Wherever HE leads me...to opportunities, I am thankful.

...I will go

I finally made a blog. I have thought about it for a long time and recently, a friend said I should join (Heather). I feel like one of those people that finally got a facebook, and others would comment on their wall by saying:

"It took you long enough" or "Welcome to..."

Well, I've chosen to title this blog as so because HE (God) is who I love and I WILL go wherever HE wants me to. And this doesn't just mean physically go, but mentally as well. Wherever I will go, I'd better go with the right perspective and mindset, focused on God and that my attitude, motives and character are like Jesus Christ's.

I feel so passionate tonight because my mind feels clear. It feels cleansed from the things that I've been holding in mind for a long time. Things that I do not know if they will happen. Things that I should not be thinking or worrying about because they're clouding my focus of where God wants me to be. Even clouding my mind everyday of who God is. Things, things, things that are not HIM, HIM, HIM.

Well...this is not the first time I've felt like this, but it just so happened to be tonight and while I was starting up a blog. And whatever entries I post it's because HE leads li'l ol' me.